Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Which Hell Would You Choose?

I always wonder if people ever even read this stuff. Here I am, an average(?) Mom, trying to make sense out of life for myself and enough of some part of something to pass on to my children.

It is a Tuesday, and I didn't go to Ladie's Bible Study with the humble motive of not wanting anyone in our group to get the illness that I have had for the last week or so.

These ladies are a lifeline for me. Prayer Warriors. Guidance and Biblical advisors helping me in the direction I need to go. Starting out as a huge group with our Pastor's wife meeting at the church on Thursdays, these few wanted to keep a group going within our homes. I was invited. My Mom-In-Law is with me and I would like to believe we are very close. You see, we are involved with a Spiritual battle of epic proportions regarding her son, also my husband.

My husband is still involved with this church. I have read their literature. I have heard their preaching. I have studied and seriously considered their points of view. It does not line up with the Bible. It is a line of understanding that I can't see justified. It is false and misleading and destructive. My husband has been deceived into thinking he has been specifically called. I can't understand any of their perspective because I haven't been called, is what he tells me.

I had believed this junk would be resolved a long time ago (see previous entries for more understanding). It exists still and has caused much heartache and pain in me and my children. We aren't allowed to do this. We are wrong on that thinking. We don't participate in that anymore. That isn't what that Scripture means. I had to decide what side of the fence I was on and why, and stay there. So I did. I went back to the church my husband and I met, got married, and started a family at. I have gained friends, support and many prayers. 

I have stated my position with my husband. He knows although I cannot go along with this church's ways, that I would not stand in the way of what he feels is God's call on his life. I have made it clear that I fully believe one day he will find something within this teaching that is so blatantly obvious against the Word of God and we would be waiting. I have done a lot of time on my knees before I finally had help realizing this isn't my battle. It is between God and Satan. A Spiritual battle.

My husband won't listen to reason and even when presented with a different view, completely rejects it. He is currently unemployed and isn't even trying to find a job. He has gotten many leads, but refuses to check on them and lies about it. He does as little as possible every day. He sits around and watched NCIS, for sometimes up to 12 hours, and other violent programs. He sits on the couch and watches television and looks up stuff on the internet. Questionable things. Watches political channels and then calls representatives and belittles them and yells at them. Rarely does he even bother to get dressed in more than shorts or underware. He has turned into someone I don't recognize anymore. Depression? I think it's more than that.

I have been pretty much staying in the basement during 99% of the time I am awake. I don't want to watch death and violence all the time. Listen to the news for hours and hours. He finally got smart and turned off his search history on his computer. But he isn't kidding anyone but himself.

Yesterday, we had a talk. He spoke with a Pastor from this church. I repeated everything I had mentioned before (in case he forgot or thought I changed my mind). We have agreed to peacefully agree to disagree. And then, this morning, I got to thinking. What kind of life is this? What kind of life is it when you are not equally yoked (but were when you got married)? You don't spend any holidays together. You don't go to church on Sundays together. You don't pray together anymore. Why does my husband not see this church sees it as okay and acceptable that it is keeping us apart? Is that Biblical? I guess it would be harder if he treated me well. But he doesn't. This relationship sucks. I am trying to stay in line with the Word, but it is hard and sometimes I have to take it one second to the next. Then I get days when peace reigns in my home. I am grateful for those days. VERY, VERY GRATEFUL.

I am expecting too much when I think he should help me when he is laid off work. But he wants to do as little as possible and with as little effort as possible. In everything. He would be more than happy if he could stay home and let me work. He wants to have his own business, but he would have to show me he can do more than barely nothing. I really think he has no concept of what it would take to run a business. He thinks he can start one and hire everyone to do everything for him. There isn't even any common sense let along business sense. He won't even acknowledge his responsibilities as a man, or homeowner, or husband. No taking out the trash, feeding his dog, interacting with his two young boys. Resents anything he does land up HAVING to do. I really believed I married someone who wanted to take care of me. I should of seen the warning signs....

So here we are. Leading seperate lives together. I don't know what to do. I know what it was like to have a Dad for a while and then not have one. It destroyed our family. I don't want to put my boys through that. I believe it is God's call on my life to teach my children at home. But at what cost? Is this all there is? Having to pick the best of two evils? Which hell would you choose? 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

New recipe! New recipe!

I have loved cod (and fish/seaood in general) for a long time. I have been trying to get the family to eat lighter and better. Here is a Taste of Home recipe that we tried and I love, love, love! this fish! I fell in love with cod, or whatever it was, at the hospital when I had my children. This is a very similar version. Copied from Taste of Home's website, sent in by Harriet Stichter of Milford (not far from here!) in Indiana! We had this with boiled red potatoes and broccoli-ENJOY!

                                                                HERB-COATED COD

Preheat oven temperature at 400*


1 pound cod fillets, thawed, if frozen

1/4 cup butter, melted

2/3 cup crushed butter flavored crackers (I used Ritz)

2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1/4 reaspoon garlic powder


Melt butter in a bowl that the fish fillets can fit in (microwave) or melt it first and put it in a shallow bowl. In another bowl, combine the cracker crumbs, cheese and seasonings. Dip fillets in butter, then coat with seasoned cracker crumbs.

Place on a greased rimmed baking sheet or in a 13 x 9 inch baking dish. Bake, uncovered, at 400* for 15-20 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork.

I found I needed to bake it longer-sometimes up to double the 20 minutes.

I know, cod is expensive. Buy it anyway and treat your family. Fish is not really a favorite with the men in my household, but even the kids like this one. Make it. Bring out the good dishes. Light some candles on the table. Bring out stemware-you know they sell it at DollarTree and Dollar General-the kind like the restaurants use for water. For a dollar. They make children and adults alike feel special when they see and use them. Make them feel special because they are. Every day is a gift-treat it accordingly. Life passes so quickly and no one told us we couldn't try and make each and every day a memory. Especially at dinner. At the table. With everyone accounted for and present. Say grace and thank Him for all of your blessings. If you can't come up with some, send me a comment. I have so many I would like to share with you....

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Welcome to my back porch!

I am done with my hutch! I love to sit on my porch and surf the web, create menu plans and a grocery list, browse for recipes to try this month, contemplate and daydream, pray.
We have been blessed today with NINE new adoptees-a neighbor brought over nine fish to move into our backyard pond! This couple is not setting up their pond this year so they offered their fish! They seem to be adjusting well to our water and our other fish-I think we have between 23-30 now! The boys are so excited!
Well, here is an updated photo of the hutch-

And here are some more pics of my porch-

Now, the blue "sofa" is what Icall it, is another gift from same people who gave us the fish. I refinished four  other pieces last year (the ones painted white). These were bright pink, yellow, orange and purple. The Sofa was in the front yard until now. All of this furniture was to be "burn pile fodder" and I am so grateful they offered it to us! Now I have seating for many people!

Of course, the cushions (I got those for $5.00 a piece off-season at Walmart!!!) won't be sitting all katty-wampus! But I was trying out the best ways to rearrange the furniture so #1-it would all fit, #2-we could still get around it, and #3-it made sense conversationally (is that even a word?) for guests. I still have to move the dining table outside after re-doing it, too. It is an old steel formica topped shop table that I want to redo in, of course, white. Again, gotta love Krylon!

There is also a planter I am painting that holds a large boston fern for that plant stand between the wicker chairs. That "plant stand" is also a freebie that is actually a table pedestal. Redone, in white, of course...

I also found some wicker hanging lamps at Goodwill last year that I also want to hang. A few things left to put on the wall, and I am done! Maybe instead of moving all the furniture off the patio to redo the sofa, I'll take the sofa and do it on the lawn.

I refuse to put down the outdoor carpets until my husband installs the doors so I don't have to vacuum 24/7 because of the dogs.

Today, my men went to Grandma's and I got some alone time. What do I do with it? Go clean up the backyard....

But then I also got to sit and watch the new fishies get acclimated. For a long time. A LONG time. Then I came in and got a shower and played on Big Fish Games.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Another one-pan wonder to share with you!

Here is another dish we enjoy that is down-home good and super easy-peasy!

Take 5-8 potatoes (this is for a 13x19 pan so adjust for your family, the size of your potatoes, and pan size) and clean 'em good and peel and slice, or just slice, into a greased 13x9 baking pan. Now, this doesn't have to be perfect layers, just toss them into the dish-the more uneven, the better they are gonna taste and bake!

Slice one large onion and separate into rings and lay on top of potato slices. (You can also cut the potatoes up and the onion up and mix together and place in pan, too, but we are talking super quick, maybe 8 minutes prep total if done the easiest way, people!)

Take a handful of brown sugar and sprinkle over the potatoes and onions.

In a bowl, mix a pound or so of ground beef with the following:

1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup cracker crumbs (any kind)
1/4 ketchup
3/4 cup milk

I usually mix the above stuff together first and then mix the beef into it like you would meatloaf. Then put this beef mixture on top of potato/onion layer. You can either leave it crumbled on top or flatten it-it doesn't matter! Put into a 350 degree oven for 1 to 1 1/2 hours! To test if it's done or not, stick a fork into it. You will be able to tell if the potatoes are done or not. Super easy and tasty!

I have seen many recipes like this using cream of something-or-other soups, cheese, etc., but this one is just as good, if not better, AND even cheaper!

Sometimes we have applesauce and buttered bread with this. Hope you enjoy!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Sunday, Sunday

There are times when it is most appropriate to make it easy on myself, yet serve my family something they'll enjoy. Today, even though it's a Monday, I have a lot to do this week and decided to make it easy on myself with our menu plan. This morning, I had a chuck steak in the fridge that was needing to be used. So I put the ol' crock pot on the glass cutting board next to the stove and coated the inside with cooking spray. Then I mixed five cups of hot water in a bowl and added a package of onion soup mix and a giant heaping tablespoon of Better Than Bullion Beef to the hot water and mixed until it all dissolved. Poured it over the meat. This was at 8:38 this morning. It's now almost 3 pm and it smells so good in here! I will be adding a small bag of baby carrots and some sliced potato wedges soon. We are trying to cut back on meat consumption, helping our weight loss goals as well as the food budget. Now we can afford more gasoline! (Just kidding!)

We will have some toast with this, maybe some salad. It is blustery and overcast today-perfect to get some things done AND have dinner ready around 5:30-6:00 without much effort!

Super supper, easy-peasy. One pan. Healthy, hot and good-it's a good Monday after all! I have always liked Monday, even when I was a little girl. I always saw them as hope-I know, that sounds weird. But even back then, I knew it could take one moment to change my life, and had this eternal hope that it was coming. And Monday, the start of a new week, meant I could get away from my home life, even if it was to go to school. (I loved school until I got into high school). That life-changing moment didn't happen for many years, and I have learned that sometimes you have to make your own moments happen, but I carefully weigh the consequences first. But that is no guarantee, either. Life throws you curve balls and you have to decide how to move, if at all...and then there is the fact that sometimes there are lots of choices, and sometimes none.

Those of you not familiar with Better Than Bullion products, they are in the soup aisle next to the bullions. I use them not only for their incredible taste, but also because they do not have any MSG. (Something I am trying to eliminate from our diet.) These are so rich and good, once tried, I doubt you will go back to "regular" bullions. Can't find it? Go to www.SUPERIORTOUCH.COM . Even some onion soup mixes have MSG, but this is really, REALLY good stuff here, folks! Depending on what flavor you buy, it makes super great chicken or beef gravy, soup, added to stir fry, and any recipes that call for chicken/beef/mushroom/ham/veggie stock. (I am not sure how many flavors they have! I got the website off the jar.) Just a little cornstarch added to beef juices in the crock pot and waaalaah! Gravy! (And no, no one is compensating me for this people-just sharing something we REALLY enjoy!)

Dinner's at 6-ish, y'all. Bring dessert...preferably something chocolate.....cheesecake-y, molten something-or-other, etc...

Friday, January 20, 2012

New Year, New Recipes to share!

Last night, we had this wonderful meal. It is something we haven't tried before, so it's new to us. If you haven't tried this, please do, if it sounds like something you might enjoy!

MENU:   Bacon Jack Chicken    Garlic Mashed Potatoes    Carrots


Weber's Kick'n Chicken Seasoning  (found at Walmart in baking section with spices)

4 boneless/skinless chicken breasts pounded to about 1/2 inch thickness

5 pieces of bacon

1 (8-oz) pkg sliced fresh mushrooms

1 medium onion cut in half and then into thin slices

Shredded, sliced or block style cheese of choice (I used Pepper Jack and Monterey Jack)

Butter, margarine, olive oil, cooking oil, or combination of any of these

Instant mashed potatoes (or peeled/boiled fresh if you prefer)

Jarred minced garlic, garlic powder, or garlic salt

Margarine, butter and milk for potatoes

Frozen carrots or canned

Pancake syrup

Salt (optional)


Preheat oven to 350*. Spray large rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray. Place chicken on baking sheet after pounding to 1/2" thinness. Sprinkle with Weber's seasoning. Place in oven and set timer for 28 minutes.

Either peel and slice potatoes for boiling or measure water/butter/salt for instant into a pan. If using fresh, put in pan with water and start heat.

If using instant, start flame about 10 minutes before chicken timer is set to go off.

Place carrots in small saucepan and put on low heat.

Cut bacon strips in half. Fry in large skillet until crisp and place on paper towel. In bacon grease, fry mushrooms and onions until soft.

If using block cheeses, slice into thin slices, enough to cover top of each chicken breast.

When chicken timer goes off, take chicken out, turn off oven. Evenly divide bacon slices among chicken, laying on top. Top with generous scoop of onion/mushroom mixture. Top with desired cheese. Place back in oven.

Finish potatoes as desired, adding garlic to taste.

Drain carrots and toss with butter, a little salt, and a swirl of maple syrup.

Take chicken out of oven when cheese has melted on top. Place on plate with other delights and serve!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Coming to a head

Not much to report about Christmas. Not worth the trouble it caused when I got home and the next day. Given ultimatums, things packed and ready to go, hurtful words thrown at me, threats made, realization of what my husband is facing with us leaving led to prayers and forgiveness on both our parts, and have left us in limbo. He is willing to leave us behind. Much needed break apart for now. Lots of snow. And prayer. We will have to address this sooner or later, but for now, peace reigns. Whole family on both sides backing me up...infinitely grateful......